The Festive Agenda
( Meeting Tips)

Two managers were talking: “Let’s cut the staff meeting today.”
“We can’t, I need the sleep.”

Please excuse my candidness—but boy do I hate most meetings!! I avoid them whenever I can. I know I’m not alone in this opinion, because wherever I go, no matter what type of company I’m working with, people tell me they also hate meetings. Why?

What’s so bad about humans getting together in a conference room to meet about something? Are we beaten? No. Does someone come in and force us to give them money? Not usually. Are we threatened in any way? Rarely. So what’s all the dread about? I’ll tell you straight out—its because most meetings are painfully boring.

I’ve sat through hundreds of two and three-hour meetings where no more than five minutes worth of work was accomplished. Worst of all, even those five minutes were boring.

Is it that important for meetings to be “interesting?” Yes—absolutely. In fact, the more stimulating a meeting is, the more likely it will be productive.

Start with the Meeting Agenda

Think of the agenda as a schedule of events rather than as a list of “topics to be addressed.” If you send out the agenda to participants beforehand, then think of it as an invitation. Change the format now and then, and why not include an interesting fact, quote, or question related to one of the meeting topics. (One manager would occasionally send out his staff meeting notices in a humorous card.)

Slay a Sacred (Meeting) Cow

Roger Von Oech writes in his best-selling book A Whack on the Side of the Head that, “Some rules are so successful that they become immune to criticism. These are the ‘sacred cows.’ As a result, people are afraid to challenge them.”
Why not list a few sacred meeting cows and then set out to slay them. Here’s a short list of a few cows you can slay:

• Must you have the meeting in a conference room? Why couldn’t you have it in a hallway, or at a table outdoors, or even inside a van?
• Are you the chairperson for the committee? So what. Why can’t another member take a turn at chairing the meeting? They usually can, of course.
• If you do provide refreshments, are they always the same (coffee, donuts and juice)? The coffee may be required fare, but why not replace the donuts with ice cream or some other tasty treat now and then.

These are easy cows to catch and kill. What follows are the tough ones, the cows with thick skin that people are afraid to harm for fear they’ll appear unprofessional or even foolish.

Don’t Be Afraid to Show Some Enthusiasm

Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart Stores and one of the richest men in America, began every company meeting with a cheer. “Give me a W... give me an A.. . give me an L.," he would joyously shout until Wal-Mart was spelled out.

You don’t need to jump and cheer, but like Mr. Walton, you should show some enthusiasm and as much as possible get attendees involved.

I can speak freely about this topic because I’ve had wonderful success by going out on a limb during meetings to either make them interesting or to prove a point.

I’ve used live animals, music, dozens of different props, short skits, even a horse whip and a box full of shoes (to show that leather-soled running shoes are as protective as many dress shoes).

Hold Super-Short Meetings Now and Then

Just to prove it can be done, see if you can cover all the business in your weekly staff meeting in 11 minutes. You don’t need to do this often, but it just might show that your staff meetings are much too long (and tedious). Keep in mind the words of Thomas Jefferson “No more good must be attempted than the people can bear.”

If you are afraid to try this because it will result in poor decisions, consider the fact that fairly solid evidence indicates that those who rely on intuition in their decision-making make more profitable decisions than those who don’t.

Engineer John Mihalasky and E. Douglas Dean at the New Jersey Institute of Technology found that 80 percent of those company leaders who had doubled their companies’ profits in a five-year period had above average precognitive powers (intuition).

When Weston Agor of the University of Texas at El Paso applied his test for intuitive ability to over two thousand managers, he found that top managers scored higher than others.

How do you create a more intuitive meeting? Simply by not allowing every item needing a decision to get bogged down in details. Set a short time limit on decision-making items. Then move them along quickly.

Include Some Showmanship

Whether you are conducting an annual sales meeting or chairing the ever-popular staff meeting, adding some showmanship is a great way to make sure it isn’t boring.

Here’s an excerpt from Bill N. Newman’s book Handbook for Successful Sales Meetings.

Even though it is a description of a “sales” meeting, it does show how effective any meeting can be when it is festive:

A sales promotion manager devised a sensational way to introduce a new merchandising aid. He conducted a coroner‘s inquest!

Several days before the meeting, he showed the new aid to several top salespeople. In the interest of field testing, a few of them were permitted to use it. Then came the meeting.

When the sales promotion manager was introduced, there was no mention of his subject. As he rose to speak, a recording of a funeral march was played. A mock funeral procession entered from the rear of the room! It was led by an “undertaker,“ complete with makeup, dark suit, and stovepipe hat. Two “pallbearer“ followed, carrying a “casket.”

The speaker had the casket placed on a table while a coroner‘s inquest was conducted. Ten “witnesses” were called to the front and seated apart from the audience. They were questioned one at a time.

The first expressed the opinion that unsuccessful salespeople were being eliminated by a new sales aid his department had designed. “It's a tool so powerful that no salesperson will hereafter be successful.” Other witnesses confirmed the opinion.

Salespeople who had field tested the item told of their success in using it. By carefully selecting the witnesses and asking well-prepared questions, the speaker had painted a very rosy picture.

A gavel was banged and the verdict announced: “The findings are that the death was caused by the new sales aid. The new aid is bringing an end to all unsuccessful sales efforts.” At that moment, the “corpse” jumped out of the “casket!” It was a real shocker since the audience had no reason to believe someone was actually in the box!

He ran to the speaker‘s stand and grabbed the new sales aid. Then he raced out of the room yelling, “Don’t bury me—I want to use it, too!”

This event lasted only 22 minutes. It was ten times better than a speech or “regular” meeting of twice the duration. Be courageous and don’t be afraid to create a festive agenda at your next meeting. Try it!

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